four weeks left

bermuda was beautiful! my memory card is with lx, but i'm sure the photos are cropping up like mad on the facebook news feed anyway. well it was a different kind of Thanksgiving... last year's was a lot more traditional what with turkey dinner and staying with kd's wonderful aunt and uncle. this year's was fun-in-the-sun, sightseeing on a little subtropical island, a lot of tv movies hahaha - all which turned out to be my favourites!, and just absurd silliness haha. in a variety of ways. needless to say, no work was done over the holiday but i feel so refreshed after it that i don't mind the four weeks ahead.

our second english papers were handed back and contrary to expectation, i won't have to write a final paper! the more of english i do, the more i realize that it is one thing i can perfect and show off. ahhh it feels good knowing that i'm done with one course already :) yet having said that, time is rushing by so quickly...i'm scared everything will just keep ending and ending and before we know it, we will miss these days that are now.

whoa!

i was reading this month's issue of Vogue featuring jennifer connelly, and just found out that she's married to paul bettany!!

these things always make me happy...knowing that two people i admire albeit rather superficially love one another. i wonder if they met while filming A Beautiful Mind? oh i really feel like watching that now. but i have that blasted english paper to write sigh. and now i guess i should actually start writing it but i feel so bloated after dinner at tokyo and chocolate ice cream cake from coldstone (we were celebrating kara's birthday early). need to cut back on the sweets...

being a bad student

so many screw-ups in time management. poorly written essay. choosing to not pass up physics problem set due tomorrow. missed issues meeting. not preparing thoroughly for class. all these tell-tale signs of my increasing complacency and irresponsibility.

it really has to end!! what really did it for me was the english paper, which i turned in 5 minutes before the deadline. it's not even about the grade i think...just seems inherently wrong to choose to not do well when one can.

i feel ashamed for being so unlike myself. i would take nerdy, need-to-go-work-and-perfect-everything sheila over complacently-free sheila anyday. let this entry be a reminder to myself everytime i decide to waste time and come online...

sheafs

went to the rock this afternoon for the first time in what feels like forever to work on an english paper. along the way, i noticed the onset of autumn colours - plum reds and leafy yellows, reminiscent of my first semester here at brown. upper keeney quad was especially pretty, with its stone-cobbled walks cast aglow with leaf. why is it that these quiet scenes are always observed in tumultuous times of paper-writing -

i'm stuck on a paper. it's frustrating when you do comparative essays and the topic fits perfectly with one novel, but is a bit of a stretch for the other. i'm really pushing it with Jane Eyre and gossip/reputation/rumour...so i've decided to go with Persuasion and Bleak House. such different novels, but that's not the problem...the problem is they together make up more than 1,100 pages. but i should not be complaining; this class was my choice and the stuff we read is amazing so enough said.

being indecisive

stinks. trying to decide whether to study abroad for a year or just spring semester isn't something you can just sleep on, hoping your subconscious will somehow (ir)rationally make your decision for you.

i have just spent an hour going weighing pros and cons. it's coming to the point where i'm peeved with myself for being so nitpicky.

essentially, if i don't apply for full-year oxbridge, i will probably not get accepted by pembroke college in cambridge for spring semester (unless they happen to have a place AND i happen to be the best english candidate at brown which is unlikely). in that case i will go to university of york. york is nice, but i confess that even its quaint shops and friendly, well-structured visting student program can't compete with oxbridge. plus it's so far away from london and cambridge! knowing ritz she wouldn't tear herself away from economics essays for a 5 hour train ride up to visit me.