being back home

makes me never want to leave! i'm going to make every single day count.

2000 words on De Quincey and orientalism

that's all which separates me from end-of-term celebrations, that is, guilt-free fun! i say guilt-free because "work ethic" really means something here. everyone apart from me seems to have insurmountable volumes of work. (no hyperbole!) with that sheer quantity of work, self discipline becomes paramount: if you told a Cam student at 5 in the afternoon that you hadn't done any work at all that day, he or she would most likely react with shock and sympathy, instead of (false) reassurances that you'll be fine, and that you'll get whatever you need done.

the hours you work are directly proportional to the esteem you receive from your peers, because academic diligence is not just a socially-programmed ideal, it is a virtue. here, that is.

okay well enough about my observations of Cam students; need to start writing. will write about all my other observations tomorrow! when i'm done!

it's that time of year again

i'm sitting at my desk eating pita bread with nutella (my evening snack), trying to write how i feel about Thanksgiving and not being at Brown. it's oddly comforting to hear about everyone's Thanksgiving plans: i feel that i too, am there with you as you board that plane, sink into that train seat, or settle down at home in front of your laptop. part of me wishes that i could participate in that retreat. i imagine feeling exhausted - it is that exhaustion, after all, which permits you a few days of brief holiday bliss before that whirlwind finals period that sees everyone seeking solace in sci-li-ing and freaking out over rushed Ratty dinners or hot sandwiches at Jos.

it's so easy to sentimentalise Brown. i could write an ode to Ratty breakfasts. and to the slopes and perpetual leafyness of Charlesfield street, those delightful cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing sold at the Blue Room. (go get one next week if you haven't tried them!!)

despite all this, i'm finally feeling settled and happy. it's so refreshing...i'm just so happy to be myself again - myself, but also a little changed, i would hope. a tiny bit wiser.

like a cheshire cat

so pleased with myself. she says that if i continue writing to these standards in the exams, i'll most definitely get a first class! no wayyy! before today i didn't even dare to imagine trying for a first, but i'm going to try now that i know it's in reach...

it's thursday 6 pm, which means weekend! curry night at Ish's place, and then i'll come back to pack for my weekend away in London visiting Jn!! (wow she'll be the first Brown person i've seen in awhile.) luckily, next week's workload is light given that we're doing Persuasion or otherwise i would've been very screwed in terms of work. sundays-wednesdays typically are my essay-crisis days.

hope this weekend is a good one!

what is a year, in a lifetime?

i choose to not run away
i choose to be brave
i choose to be happy with life as it is
i choose to take responsibility for my decisions
i choose to graduate with my friends
i choose to do this for my loved ones
i choose principles, over emotions
i choose a year of challenges, over a lifetime of regret
i choose to feel blessed with all that i have

//
my mom and LJ have collectively, miraculously, helped me to see things differently, so thank you...:)

//

Tristram Shandy essay due in 18 hours. "Writing, when properly managed...is but a different name for conversation." Discuss.
interesting topic, right?