ホームステイー

homestay in Ina-shi was MAGICAL.
東京に戻りたくなかったほど楽しかったんだ.

my family planned a perfect three days for me. we made temaki sushi for dinner, went to the Ina-shi summer festival, explored an Edo-era town, went to a beautiful otera complete with glow-in-the-dark moss and the traditional three gates, had really good soba and katsudon, relaxed at an onsen, took Benny-chan for 7 am walks...sigh. we had so many great conversations as we sat down to piping hot green tea, and as we navigated the Minami-alps by car, windows down and hair dancing.

Shima-san and Kotarou-san were....just wonderful. i've talked to other friends in the program and yep, my homestay parents and grandparents really knew how to teach japanese and let me practice it. they carried around a notebook a pen EVERYWHERE so that whenever i didn't understand something, they would explain it and then write the kanji/hiragana. occasionally they drew things, which elicited a lot of giggles. they were also ridiculously nice. no stuffiness about them. i cried after saying bye when we got onto the bus, but only after Kotarou-san stopped waving as we turned the corner...as Rz says, perhaps i'm crybaby :), but i'd rather be the type of person who feels deeply - the entire spectrum of emotions - than one who merely oscillates in the middle.

and now we're back in Tokyo, to regular classes. i'm being a total bum and only taking two workshops this summer after dropping a tricky Japanese Novels class, thus i'm only in class 5 hours a day. the work is starting to pile on though; for one, i've never had to memorize vocabulary like this before. and there are a few long term projects/presentations to tackle...which is little scary cuz we only have two and half weeks left!

anyway....i WILL post photos soon.

in Tokyo now!

tadaima!!
that's what the japanese say when they return home (and in reply, the family says, "okaeri"). well i'm not home, but i'm going for my weekend homestay in Ina-shi tomorrow! excited, but i think i'm more nervous about the Japanese conversations and basically just fitting in with the family. unfortunately there are no kids, only a young couple and their dog, which i find a slightly strange configuration for a homestay family.

so i disappeared for a long while because i was in Hong Kong with my primitive dial-up internet, and then in Kamogawa, where we had limited access to internet in the seminar house. we got quite close to everyone else because there was literally only a convenience store, a beach, and some mountains, and a small mall to venture off to outside the seminar house. we also had a strict schedule of meals and ofuro (the communal baths) times. breakfast was at 7:30 am, lunch at 12 noon, and dinner at 6. if you came late by 15 minutes you wouldn't be served any food. apart from that...in our free time we played badminton/tennis/table tennis, cards, and oh crikey, Mafia.

anyway, i'm in Tokyo now at the main Waseda University campus. so far i haven't explored that much but i plan to go out a lot more often next week after the homestay...to shop at Shinjuku, Shibuya, Harajuku and go see Akihabara and Asakusa (and hopefully go to Disneyland? :) ). going out in Japan requires a lot of self discipline cuz everything looks so pretty and kawaii (or yummy, if it's food). and of course there's the izakayas, which are cheaper than those in Hong Kong, and karaoke! <-- the prices aren't bad, but too bad i'm not very good at singing. a lot of the other girls in the program are really impressive though - one of them even sings opera.

okay well i will post photos some other time! gotta start packing and getting ready for homestay (i.e. review all the kimarimonku, or set phrases, and wrap my gifts.)

when all else fails

i have now taken to exercise when i get all crabby and antsy (ohhh two animal-y adjectives. that was accidental!) everyone knows me as the person who doesn't work out, and this is partly true because:
a) i'm REALLY lazy and
b) compared to everybody else, my athletic commitments (which are nonexistent in college) are pathetic.
oh...and why is it that most of my friends are either absurdly talented in dance or sport, or are the type that go running 3 miles no problem?

so it has been a lot more sweat and sun for me these few weeks. i don't know why it has taken me so long to realize the benefits of working out. i've always known that endorphins can be addictive and sweating, cathartic (haha, as propounded by tn almost everyday at brown), but i guess i always had things like food and friends to make me feel better :P. food i have plenty of here in singapore, but friends...ah friends...

nowadays when i miss people i resort to running to the gym or tennis courts or pool to work out until i cheer up. summer just doesn't feel quite the same when most people are working, travelling, or not coming back for the holiday. or if they live on different continents. blasted americans.

anyway, i shall not dwell on the clouds. there are upsides to this weird coping mechanism. i have rediscovered the joy of tennis. and i feel good about getting back on the treadmill...ah wait, there is no "back" for i have always avoided the darn thing. :D well not anymore!

rephrase

it's funny how tweaking words here and there makes everything less scary. i feel a lot better about it all. :) i guess i just need to just blurt all the yucky, somewhat latent feelings from time to time to confirm my decisions. (and have others reassure me) weak. as st's male alter-ego would bellow.

totally screwed for take-home english final because of incredibly long 7 hour conversation with kp. but...instead of complaining i will persevere, and join the "done"-minions soon enough...

:(

i am dreading saturday and wondering how the hell i'm going to leave this place. all the vague, far flung ideals about academics and challenges and new challenges are just rhetoric... ...easy to say but hard to believe in. rt has always cautioned pursuit of ideals that are of the past; i really hope i haven't done that in this instance because the losses are just looming higher and higher with each day of happiness and love.

it's so unhealthy to anticipate bad stuff, but i can't help it. i don't want to go home just yet...i want one more year of brown so badly but i've made my decision and just keep hoping that i'll be somehow surprised, and rewarded for this leap in faith, but it just...sucks. there's no other word to describe it. why why why. watashi no sei dake.