lowly, i say

i can't focus anymore. i'm slacking off in all classes (what reading period?! still have english seminar next tuesday), i mix up the two study abroad meetings and miss the important Britain-specific one, i'm sleeping at terrible hours, my comp lit essay is a joke, my grades are falling (goodbye cambridge-worthy gpa...hey maybe they'll reject me over the summer) and i have the sad piano theme of densha-otoko stuck in my head.

yesterday i said goodbye to keiko-san. she's moving back to japan with her husband. i feel terrible; it was probably the first time i said goodbye (for good) to someone that i do want to see again. there were things to be said, formalities - but i wanted to say so much more than my limited japanese skills could allow. and now i still want to write more about it, but how does one recapture those conversations, the language of which i don't even remember?

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i just got back from en's room. kp, tn and i visited cuz he broke his leg yesterday. since he's returning home for surgery tomorrow, we said our warm goodbyes. there was a moment of panic surging through me when i thought that if he was leaving for the summer, and i was going to be away for junior year, then it'd be our last meeting. then i remembered that we are both sophomores, so there's still senior year.

but then kp looked at me and i realized that the panic was yet to come, and now everything has just collapsed into itself.