let me catch my breath

give me freedom to do as i please, and i'm as happy as a clam. (by the way, why are clams happy? is it because they are not oysters?) JC and SR visited; it was great seeing them again, plus i end up re-falling in love with Brown when i show visitors around our pretty, friendly campus. also went up to Harvard for a day. what lingers in my memories are the Harvard libraries... spacious, quiet halls of sincere learning (cf the Sci Li) and their architecture creative.

we always end up discovering little gems and comfy corners only when we are about to leave them. i wish i had gone up more to Hope street for meals, to India Point Park when i wanted to hear the lapping of water and to soak up the sun. but all these places perhaps are made special by their belated discovery. there's something about that element of luck, combined with the ensuing wistfulness, that makes these places even more charming - what might have been, but perhaps what might have been would have been less special.

i don't think much of graduation but that's because sentimental saps like me should generally not think too much. leaving Brown is not too difficult when one has left before, and believe me, i wouldn't be able to muster all those tears again. i feel sad for friends who will have to endure heartaches... ... part of me wishes that when the time comes, i could be there to tell you that you will grow to love another place - perhaps not equally, but differently, and in change there is hope i think.

life is looking rosy and bright at the moment, and part of me is just waiting nervously for... whatever it is to happen, but i know we all deserve to be happy. i fulfilled my oxford conditions and have a college offer from St. Catherine's or St. Catz, or simply, Catz. :) it's quite exciting though i was hoping for an older college, but after thinking about it, i realize that a modern college has so many benefits in terms of architecture and facilities, and no one at age 22 should really be living in medieval castles anyway :). it's funny but i've always felt an affinity for the name St. Catherine's... so this pairing feels right.